horticulturalcephalopod:

bullshitcockroach:

horticulturalcephalopod:

bullshitcockroach:

horticulturalcephalopod:

ugh australia is home to like so many creepy birds

hunts u down on the back of a cassowary

I JUST GOOGLED THIS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

image

is it like…

These are the most NSFW asks I have ever seen. Obliterate me.
1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation?
2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated.
3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated?
4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals?
5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation?
6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt?
7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot?
8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated?
9. Do you like having your balls touched?
10. Do you like having your nipples touched?
11. Do you like having your anus touched?
12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)?
13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)?
14. Do you have any kinks?
15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella?
16. Do you pee in the shower?
17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower?
18. Have you had sex in the shower?
19. Do you like being naked?
20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked?
21. Have you ever skinny dipped?
22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude?
23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity?
24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)?
25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts?
26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)?
27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom?
28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online?
29. How many sexual partners have you had?
30. How often do you masturbate?
31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it?
32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)?
33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc.
34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)?
35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore?
36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with a different set of genitals?
37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend?
38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear?
39. Do you ever go commando?
40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep?
41. How big is your penis?
42. Does your penis curve at all?
43. Which testicle hangs lower?
44. How big are your breasts?
45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven?
46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris?
47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it?
48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care?
49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts?
50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way?
51. Do you like the way your genitals look?
52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup?
53. Do you like your butt?
54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)?
55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair?
56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed?
57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people?
58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm?
59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating?
60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session?
61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)?
62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric?
63. Spit or swallow?
64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble?
65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on?
66. Do you "squirt?"
67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral?
68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.?
69. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you?
71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you?
72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in?
73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated?
74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross?
75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex?
76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex?
77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)?
78. Do you own any sex toys?
79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy?
80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)?
81. What are your favorite positions?
82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience?
83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner?
84. Have you ever had any genital injuries?
85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection?
86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)?
87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up?
88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there?
89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement?
90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)?
91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam?
92. Have you have phone sex?
93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do.
94. What's something you like about your body?
95. What's something you dislike about your body?
96. What body parts do you find the sexiest?
97. What was your most recent sexual thought?
98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.?
99. When was the last time you touched your genitals?
100. Do you often imagine people naked?
send me a letter
A. WHY MY LAST RELATIONSHIP ENDED.
B. FAVORITE BAND.
C. WHO I LIKE AND WHY I LIKE THEM.
D. HARDEST THING I’VE EVER BEEN THROUGH.
E. MY BEST FRIEND.
F. MY FAVOURITE MOVIE.
G. SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
H. DO I SMOKE/DRINK?
I. HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
J. WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GET OLDER.
K. RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PARENTS.
L. ONE OF MY INSECURITIES.
M. VIRGIN OR NOT?
N. FAVOURITE PLACE TO SHOP AT?
O. MY EYE COLOUR.
P. WHY I HATE SCHOOL.
Q. RELATIONSHIP STATUS AS OF RIGHT NOW.
R. FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT.
S. A RANDOM FACT ABOUT MYSELF.
T. AGE I GET MISTAKEN FOR.
U. WHERE I WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW.
V. LAST TIME I CRIED.
W. CONCERTS I’VE BEEN TO.
X. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF (…)?
Y. DO YOU WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE.
Z. HOW ARE YOU?

denchguy:

shavingryansprivates:

spero-e-sospiro:

shavingryansprivates:

i have a structured settlement but i need cash now

Call JG Wentworth: 877-CASH-NOW!

877-CASH-NOW?

877-CASH NOW!!!!

likeyouwanna-be-loved:

lanadelreptar:

 ♪ White Lips, Pale Face 

image

*drops bass* MOTHERFUCKING UNITED STATES *guitar solo*

image

I’m not even American but this post is just too good not to reblog

poopflow:

you put the condom on your dick
but you don’t actually do any fucking
it’s a metaphor
I can’t get laid

absentions:

it’s so rare that you meet someone who makes you feel so warm and happy like they are like sunshine and you just want them around all the time

(❁´◡`❁)*✲゚*
1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?
2.When did your last hug take place?
3.Are you a jealous person?
4.Are you tired right now?
5.Do you chew on your straws?
6.Have you ever been called a tease?
7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
8.Do you cry easily?
9.What should you be doing right now?
10.Are you a heavy sleeper?
11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
12.Are you mad at someone right now?
13.Do you believe in love?
14.What makes you laugh no matter what?
15.Who was the last person you talked to?
16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
17.Will you get married?
18.When was the last time you smiled?
19.Does anyone like you?
20.Do you secretly like someone?
21.Who was the first person you talked to today?
22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
23.What are you NOT looking forward to?
24.What ARE you looking forward to?
25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?
27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
28.Are you a forgiving person?
29.How many TRUE friends do you have?
30.Do you fall for people easily?
31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?
32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
33.Who was the last person you drove with?
34.How late did you stay up last night and why?
35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?
37.Can you live a day without TV?
38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
39.Three names you go by...
40.Are you currently in a relationship?
41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
43.What’s your current problem?
44.Have you ever had your heart broken?
45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?
46.How many kids do you want to have?
47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?
fight-0ff-yourdem0ns:

ionlyliftontuesdays:

shell-tear-your-world-apart:

endsofadream:

SOMEONE DO A DATE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I’LL EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOOTY.

Now that’s how you get laid boys.

Holy shit that’s awesome.

I want to

fight-0ff-yourdem0ns:

ionlyliftontuesdays:

shell-tear-your-world-apart:

endsofadream:

SOMEONE DO A DATE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I’LL EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOOTY.

Now that’s how you get laid boys.

Holy shit that’s awesome.

I want to

(c)